Beckham

Beckham is the product of a one night stand between his mother and a nightclub bouncer called Juan who seduced her with the immortal words “I’d like to try to rub off your tattoos”.

Juan is Spanish which has leant Beckham a rustic, Southern European look exacerbated by a mop of jet black hair. He sports a stud earring and is permanently dressed in a Real Madrid football strip.

Whilst Beckham’s speech is limited he has incorporated some keywords to get him through his simple existence such as, “pizza”, “skyplus”, “wicked” and “ola”.

Through the power of the thought bubble we get to “hear” Beckham’s take on the world which it has to be said is wise beyond his years!

Beckham thought: “why do I not have to spray my tan on like Mummy?”
Favourite TV Programme: Benidorm